ACRL College & Research Libraries News

College & Research Libraries News

ARE YOU A BOOK BATTERER?

Jocelyn Foster

To commemorate their Care for Books campaign, the University of British Columbia Library published this quiz which supposedly appeared in the Review of Bibliotension.

Learn the truth about your attitudes to books. Do you harbor a deep resentment to printed forms of information? Do you long for a world pure and ignorant, free of all learning? Are you a pussycat in your relations with other people, but a tiger when handling books? Are you actively trying to reduce the amount of information in the world by abusing books? This short test will reveal your true attitude. Check the most appropriate response.

1. I remove books from the shelf by pulling the top of the spine and am pleased to hear the sound of tearing, especially with a new book. always frequently sometimes never

2. I eat or drink while reading and feel better when crumbs drop into the pages or when I spill coffee on them.

always frequently sometimes never

3.1 push down hard on the spine of a book when I'm photocopying in order to break its spine.

always frequently sometimes never

4. I mark my place in a book with a rusty paperclip or a wet lettuce leaf unless I have a slice of bacon handy.

always frequently sometimes never

5.1 leave books on the radiator or in the sunlight, and am disappointed when the paper doesn’t yellow in a day or two.

always frequently sometimes never

6.1 underline and annotate books with a pen, especially library books, so that others will have the benefit of what I believe the truth to be.

always frequently sometimes never

7.1 like to read while showering and store books in the bathroom because watching pages curl turns me on.

always frequently sometimes never

8. When shelving books, I fill each shelf as full as possible and am gratified when I can jam that last volume into a space obviously too small for it.

always frequently sometimes never

9. I like to stack books up in piles, putting the smallest and flimsiest books on the bottom and topping the pile up with the largest, hoping that the whole thing will go tumbling onto the floor.

always frequently sometimes never

10. I razor or tear articles, pages, pictures out of library books, especially if I think something might be useful to others.

always frequently sometimes never

11.1 give my dog a book to chew whenever I run out of Gaines burgerbits and call him “Bookcruncher” for short.

always frequently sometimes never

Scoring:

Give yourself 3 points for each “always,” 2 for “frequently,” 1 for “sometimes,” 0 for “never.” Add up the total.

26-33 = unhealthy attitude to books and learning. Leave university and go to work as far from all information as possible. You should consider professional treatment.

17-25 = you require immediate therapy if you intend to continue at university or work where printed information is handled. Ask your family doctor to refer you to your nearest bibliotherapist.

8-16 = your attitude to information is unhealthy and you need actively to change it.

1-7 = watch yourself. You could be developing a hostile attitude to books and learning. There is still time to redirect your potential hostility.

0 = congratulations. Your attitude towards printed information is very healthy. Stay vigilant. —Reprinted from the University of British Columbia Library Bulletin and written by Jocelyn Foster, UBC orientation librarian. ■■