ACRL College & Research Libraries News

Association of College & Research Libraries

Get some better looking librarians (and other suggestions from students)

In the February 1992 issue of C&R1 News we ran a story about library suggestion books and the cute, witty, angry, constructive, and sometimes weird things students have to say in writing. We also asked readers to send in examples from their own libraries’ suggestion books and got several responses. What follows is a sampling of the suggestions we found most entertaining.

Andrew Golub, director of library and information services at the University of New England, submitted this gem:

“Why doesn’t the library stay open more? It is too loud to stud [sic] in the dorms.” Reply: “Not if you are doing it right.”

Barbara Love of Saint Lawrence College submitted these:

“It might be worthwhile to install a noise detector that sounds a loud buzzer for 3 seconds if the noise level goes above a certain preset point. It could be used just to remind people that it is a library—not a social centre.” Reply: “Now that would be non-intrusive.”

“Dear Folks, My latest estimate indicates that this library contains no more than 6 works of science fiction. Obviously a) I am missing some well-secreted trove of these works, or b) you are clinging to outdated imperialist bourgeois dogma by ignoring significant intelligentsia, … and engaging in cultural repression against works that will ceteris paribus encourage the development of higher faculties of consciousness. Which is it? Signed, Cultural Ambassador of the Klingon Empire” Reply: “Dear Mr. Ambassador, … you should try your local public library, the source of all true and non-specific knowledge. Our budget does not really permit us to encourage the development of higher faculties of consciousness.”

“Get some better looking librarians. From Zeb.” Follow-up suggestion: “Don’t put up ‘suggestions’ from jerks like Zeb. Sexism is one ‘suggestion’ we get enough of. Emma Goldman.”

“Could you please provide the seminar rooms with curtains for the windows and locks on the insides of the doors? This I feel will aid me in becoming more intimate with my studies.” Reply: “It sounds to us like you’re more interested in becoming intimate with the students than with the studies.”

And: “Just remember sex and violence count.” Reply: “We’ll try.”