ACRL College & Research Libraries News

College & Research Libraries News

Humor and creativity: A bulletin from the front lines in the war on mediocrity

By John Maxstadt Instruction Librarian University of Arkansas, Fayetteville

The University Libraries at Middle States University, a medium-size research institution, recently made headlines throughout academia as the result of a comprehensive library assessment performed by Maxine LeCouteau, the assistant director for library systems. LeCouteau’s amazing findings, which were published in the prestigious journal Academic Library Update, indicated that the Middle States University Libraries performed at exactly the national average on all standard measures of library collections and services for academic and research libraries.

All of the Libraries’ collections were of perfectly average size; circulation statistics matched the national average for academic and research libraries in every detail. The average number of interlibrary loan requests were received, and an average percentage were filled in the average length of time. The backlog in cataloging exactly duplicated the national average. The reference department routinely provided incorrect and incomplete answers to between 14.7% and 61.8% of all patron queries,¹ the exact figure varying to match the latest estimated average published in the library research journals. Even patron theft and vandalism cost the Libraries a sum exactly equal to the national average.

In a strongly worded statement to the University Committee on Academic Excellence, Vice Chancellor W. Frederick Bullington III declared, “Mediocrity, of this kind or of any kind, has no place in this institution’s quest for excellence!” Bullington’s indignation was echoed throughout the university community and in academic circles nationwide.

The editors of all the major library journals joined in condemning the mediocrity of the Middle States University library administration. Academic library associations around the country passed resolutions reaffirming their commitment to excellence and stating that mediocrity could never and would never be tolerated in academic librarianship.

Dr. Norman Cipher, director of libraries at Middle States University, immediately began a library assessment of his own to uncover areas in which his libraries performed above the national average. He was able to produce excellent and above-average performance evaluations dating back several years for nearly all of his staff, but withdrew them when faced with a study (recently conducted by LeCouteau) which showed that his evaluations exactly matched the national average for inflated ratings. Desperate, Cipher lobbied formerly sympathetic faculty for support, blamed his problems on budgetary restraints, and promised sweeping changes in library priorities and personnel. These actions merely added fuel to the fire, as it was pointed out that Cipher had done what any average library administrator would do in his situation.

Following an administrative vote of no confidence, Cipher resigned his position. The Library Committee unanimously voted to replace him with assistant director LeCouteau, who promised to eradicate library mediocrity wherever she found it. LeCouteau’s new salary is considerably higher than the national average for academic library administrators.

Since his resignation, Dr. Cipher has been busy preparing a research study, to be presented at the annual meeting of the state Academic Library Association (due to scheduling conflicts and a tight honorarium budget, the association had been unable to attract a better speaker). Cipher has claimed that his preliminary results demonstrate that virtually 50% of all academic and research libraries function below the national average in any given area of collections or services, and that 50% of all library administrators and library employees perform below average level. It is rumored that he will name names.

Heads are expected to roll.

Editors Note: John Maxstadt is instruction librarian at the University of Arkansas Libraries, which are, he tells us, 'well above average in all respects. ”

Notes

1. Tan Douglas, “Reducing Failures in Referenc Service,” RQ 28 (Fall 1988): 95.